Better Dating-Coaching.
For those who desire to:
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Shift their patterns in dating.
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Take radical self-responsibility.
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Know they’re worthy of healthy love.
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Surrender and take action.
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Engage in deep somatic work.
I invite you to fall in love with dating... the inevitable process toward deepening romantic relationships. Which many of us have learned to fear, loose hope about, or at the minimum consider it a waste of time.
At least, that's been the case for me - I'd say as far back as I can remember. Until I hit rock bottom and realised that history is repeating itself again and again, that there's a pattern in my dating dynamics and that there's one common denominator in all of them: me.
Pain led me to seek change; I've been studying early childhood trauma and how it influences adult relationships, engaging in somatic healing methods, confronting my beliefs and fears "out there dating", working on my sexuality...
Slowly, my shame around my relationship experiences and my hopelessness around my future melted away... I came to understand that there's a very legitimate background for it all, and that healing and thriving ! is possible...
f you believe nobody is out there for you, find yourself not being your authentic self on dates, tend to think obsessively about your dating partners, or if you start criticising them all at once whereas just a bit before you felt butterflies... I feel you.
And I know if I can have ever deepening and nourishing dating experiences... shift from confusion to greater clarity, and turn pain into peace... you can do so too.
Does our greatest pain often point to our greatest gifts? I do believe it's true.
Why does working with the soma bring about healing and integration on a deep level?
Maybe you've experienced it yourself: you've read books, engaged in talk therapy, and listened to various teachers. Yet, you still find it challenging to enact change and integrate concepts into your life. The knowledge remains purely intellectual. In somatic-based coaching, we delve into the deeper regions of our brain—the subconscious. By bridging the rational aspects with our limbic and primal brain, we not only gain a clearer understanding but also have the opportunity to gently release trauma that has been stored in the body for years or even lifetimes, and forge new neural pathways.
The Journey*. Toward Better Dating.
*all these steps will require more, or less, attention for each individual. We work with what emerges.
1) Self-Love
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Dating as the greatest practice for Self-Love.
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Upward- instead of Downward-Spiralling
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Inner Commitment to Self
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Community Support
2) Fears & Wounds
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Inner Child & Family Dynamics
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Attachment Styles
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Integrating Blockages & Shifting Dating Patterns
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Yin & Yang of Seeing, Connecting & Committing
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Emotional Empowerment
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Releasing Ex-Lovers
3) Values & Desires
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Relationship-Desires
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Dating Values
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Dating from an Empowered Place
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Effective Communication
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Owning Your Value & Worth
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Living from Desire
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Being the Creator of Love
4) Dating In Action
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Aligned Dating (Body, Heart, Mind & Soul)
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Surrender & Action
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Training for "the One"
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Creating a Dating Plan
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Flirting, Seduction & Play
5) Pleasure & Dating
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Pleasure as Nourishment & Medicine
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Accessing Your Own Feel-Good, Inner Knowing & Radiance
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Inner Alchemy & Inner Union
Is "Better Dating" For You?
This journey is for you if you:
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You want to take radical self-responsibility for your experience (aka you are done blaming others or the past for your current reality). This means you want to take responsibility that your relationships are loving, your desires & needs expressed and met, your sexuality thriving... It means also that you commit to do the homework in between sessions which we discuss together, to the best of your ability.
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Know that you are worthy of healthy love (or at least strive to realize this) and actively wish to build trust.
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Understand that the universe has its own timing, your nervous system its own pace - and can or want to surrender to that fact while taking action in the things you can control in order to get closer to your dreams.
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Are open and willing to work somatically, meaning also with the physical, emotional and energetic body. Ideally, you are familiar with self-development work, including body-based and energetic methodologies such as yoga, body-work, meditation, and similar practices.
This journey is not for you if you:
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Believe or want to hold on to the belief that there's only one person out there for you. This journey is neither for you if your goal is to make anyone (per example your ex) want to be with you.
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Have an urgency about finding the right one or want to hold on to that urgency, respectively.
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Are not ready to actively participate in the sessions and do the discussed homework in between, meaning not ready to commit both energetically and financially to this deeper journey.
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Expect this to be exclusively talking therapy and are not open to engage in somatic work - which involves exploring the physical, emotional, and energetic aspects of your being.
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Experience significant unintegrated trauma* and/or are currently going through a major life transition (like a recent divorce, trying to become a parent, grieving the loss of a loved one etc...)
This work is gentle yet profound, has the potential to delve deep into your being. However, it requires your full investment in the coaching process, just as I am committed to your desires and creating a safe space for deeper layers to emerge and be integrated.
*Significant unintegrated trauma (including sexual trauma) can impede our ability to engage in daily activities such as getting up for work, interacting with friends and family, or getting out of bed. If that's the case for you currently, I would encourage you to seek the assistance of a trauma specialist. However, therapy and coaching often complement each other beautifully. Don't hesitate to reach out for getting more clarity on this.
Important Notice:
Every process is individual; we never know what your subconscious reveals and what your nervous system holds! Additionally, this type of coaching is not a method to bypass your emotional reality or the fact that the human experience involves both pain and pleasure. When you touch upon unfamiliar feelings and experiences, it may initially be uncomfortable. However, feeling more deeply means experiencing the full spectrum of the human condition, likely resulting in feeling more alive. Over time, you'll learn to navigate these emotions and hold yourself through them. I don’t promise you that you'll find a partner or achieve a certain goal within a set timeframe. Deep wounds heal in layers, and fortunately, getting to know ourselves on a deeper level is a lifelong journey. What I can assure you is that you'll move closer to your goals and gain a deeper understanding of yourself. I would be honoured to help you find greater clarity, sense of security and joy in dating (internal states that cannot but be reflected by the world around you eventually).
Photo: Pride Pursey Photos
The VITA™ coaching methodology consists of holistic tools backed by modern science and empowered by ancient traditions, such as:
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breathwork
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embodiment practices (including pleasure if aligned)
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trauma healing
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meditation / mindfulness
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energy work
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sounding
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movement
3-Month Journeys
For genuine transformation to happen, there needs to be safety. Safety comes with trust. And trust is built over time. Trust first and foremost in yourself. Trust between you and me. Trust in the methodology. The VITA™ coaching methodology is designed for "longer"-term journeys. Our dreams & nervous systems need our nourishment, encouragement and dedication in order to flourish fully!
Each 3-Month Journey entails:
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3 x 75min-Sessions per Month (total 9 sessions)
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Workbook with journaling prompts & important concepts around better dating
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Session Notes which I send you till latest 24 hours after each session
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Tailor-made Home-Play practices (concrete actions, areas of focus, guided audio-meditations, pleasure- and/or embodiment practices, book or video recommendations etc.)
Reach out to book a (pressure-)free 45-minutes Clarity Call with me.
My intention is not to sell you anything, but to determine whether we are a great match. Similar to dating, I wish for our coach-coachee relationship to be 'win-win'!
This journey with Rahel has been such an awakening of pleasure for me. Transformative. With her coaching I have discovered so much wisdom through the practice of pleasure. The embodiment practices... have been incredibly healing. I feel so much has evolved since our first session, I understand myself better, and I can hold myself with compassion and kindness, which I never knew how to.
Rahel guided me through dark places of my soul with so much care and safety. I felt her deep and gentle support, we also laughed and it reminded me how life can be light and soft. Every session was a transformation, I got closer to my Self every time. Tears... I am so grateful I have embarked on this journey with Rahel. She accepted me as I am. I felt seen... held and safe by her guidance, her presence. Embodying the Goddess... wow, realising we are all Goddess, and living a life from pleasure, feeling so worthy. Thank you Rahel for guiding me on this path towards freedom!"
Lucilla Gould
