This is what I believe about Dating:
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Dating doesn't have to be draining or uncomfortable.
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You can feel free, relaxed and be yourself in romance.
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Ever deepening, nourishing romantic relationships are available to you, too.
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You can heal and thrive (!), there’s a background for you not having had a long-term partner - ever, or not so for a long time.
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There's no need for dating apps in order to meet someone amazing.
...even if your past seems to prove the contrary and everyone around you tells you something different.
I believe that many of our dating issues root back to the fact that parts of us are not feeling safe. Not feeling safe with the other gender, not safe to speak our truth or be ourselves, not safe to be loved and desired, not safe to be seen, connect or commit to another.
You can change that.
You can start to feel safe again, to trust again. Which starts with building trust in yourself. It’s the journey of coming home to yourself - where you neither feel suffocated nor like you lose yourself in romantic relationships.
I want to tell you something:
I’m sick of advertisements of workshops or mentoring programs which tell you “Find Your Soulmate, with these simple tools!”.
First and foremost, because they can fuel the urgency that many feel around finding a partner (to finally feel happy) already now.
Also, because it is often not that simple, in my experience; Why people want a partner and don’t have it, is also rooted in trauma - and cannot be tackled by a few visualisations and journaling questions.
There can be deeply rooted beliefs and patterns stored in the body-mind which may unconsciously block you from co-creating fulfilling relationships.
Thankfully, our system naturally tends toward healing: We are wired for connection and our brain’s neuroplasticity gives us the capacity to create new neural pathways.
We don’t know how long it takes though to unwind and rewire, and when we start our healing-journey, we never know what our nervous system reveals.
Which is why I invite you to take it SLOOW.
My invitation for you is to start taking pleasure in dating...
... rather than fixating on a specific outcome. As you date and relate, throw yourself into the intensity of life and work with the things coming up - instead of asking yourself “when does it finally happen?”, you may create a habit of asking yourself:
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What do I learn from this experience?
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How can I love myself even more, as I go through this?
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How can this experience help me come closer to my truth?
… so I feel increasingly safe and more and more trust, allow myself to connect with people who actually get me, as I am being myself?
Also, I invite you to reflect on this:
Why should only one type of experience - the long-term, committed partnership - be a valuable experience? What about the process? All the adventures, the aliveness we get to experience, the growth happening, the mental and emotional strength gained? Does it really matter how long a relationship lasts, or rather how we feel in it, how we grow in it, what we learn through it?
Doesn’t it anyways take immense maturity to co-create healthy relationships? And doesn’t the work anyways simply continue in relationship? Do people who are in partnerships in your environment feel more happy, more themselves, more connected? And the singles less?
Does it really depend so much on the framework on whether we feel fulfilled and worthy of happiness?
Should we beat ourselves up and wait to feel fulfilled and worthy until the relationship we long for happens?
Or celebrate ourselves each step that we shift patterns which have been in our family lineage for decades or centuries - and enjoy each moment on the journey of getting closer to what we truly desire?
I stand for that whatever we cultivate inside, is reflected in the outside. And if we change the outside, it will affect the inside. You can start your journey toward ever deepening and nourishing connection now. Love yourself through it, breathe and get a little loose.
“Your heart and my heart
are very, very old friends.”
Hafiz
My Professional Training & Qualifications
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Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner, in training (3 year program)
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Sex, Love & Relationship Coach, cert. - Tantric Institute of Integrated Sexuality
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Conscious Dating Coach, cert. - Tantric Institute of Integrated Sexuality
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Trauma-Sensitive HeartMath® Certified Practitioner - HeartMath Institute
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"Health-Informed Sex Expert", Certificate of Completion - "The Science of Pleasure" with Dr. Isabela Bottura (ObGyn, Sex Coach & Pleasure Expert)
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Women's Empowerment Coach, cert. - Tantric Institute of Integrated Sexuality
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Certified Well Woman Yoga Therapist
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Certified Yoga Teacher (600+h training)
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Women’s Circle Facilitator, Certificate of Completion
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Hundreds of hours of education in personal development :)
I also hold a M.A. in International Affairs and Governance from the University of St.Gallen (HSG), a B.A. in Political Science with a minor in Russian Literature from the University of Zurich. The years before my career change, I lobbied for Swiss business interest (as it's officially called) at the Swiss umbrella business association Economiesuisse, worked as journalist in the politics & economics department at the Swiss newspaper 20 Minuten as well as the Swiss Radio & TV SRF.